The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 – Review

Disclaimer: I am a thirtysomething male who is not the demographic of the Twilight franchise. That said, I have somehow enjoyed the first three films in the series so far and have given each one a favourable review. Until now.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 begins with vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson) and mortal Bella (Kristen Stewart) getting married. Then they go on their honeymoon, have sex, and sit around playing chess for two weeks until Bella (SPOILER ALERT) discovers she’s pregnant with Edward’s demon seed. They must return home to get help from the rest of Edward’s “family” as well as from werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner). Will poor Bella make it out of this ordeal safely or will this thing inside of her kill her?

For the first hour and a half, Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 is a limp, lifeless, boring snoozefest that made me wish I watching anything but Breaking Dawn Pt. 1. Even a marathon of General Hospital would have been more entertaining than sitting through this crap. But then the last thirty minutes got so crazy and gory I almost forgot I was watching a Twilight movie. And by the reaction of the crowd, it might have gone too far, especially during the “birthing scene” where Edward literally bites the baby out of Bella.

Director Bill Condon has made a few good movies in his career, including the biopics Kinsey and Gods and Monsters. But he was also responsible for the horrible sequel to CandymanFarewell to the Flesh and the Beyoncé movie Dreamgirls. So it really shouldn’t be a surprise that Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 feels like a musical trapped inside of a graphic horror movie. Quite honestly, Condon is probably the worst choice to wrap this series up as it appears he wants to go in a hundred directions with it and has made a big gloppy mess at his attempt.

The cast all do their part just fine and nothing has really changed much with their talent or lack of talent. Technically speaking though, the effects and the soundtrack are drastically diminished this time around and the movie actually looks quite bad. And maybe it’s because of budget cuts, but I didn’t see one sparkly vampire the entire film. What a rip-off!

As with all the Twilight films, Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 is critic proof and everything I just wrote means nothing to the fanbase who will flock to see it no matter how bad it is. I just hope Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 redeems the series for the casual viewer like myself.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ 

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